Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil One-shot Compilation
by Thisisendless
Summary: This is a compilation of one-shots pertaining to Home, Sweet Home: A Danisnotonfire Fanfiction. You don't have to have read HSH in order to read these one-shot but it is suggested. Danisntonfire and OC (NOT PHAN)
1. Chapter 1

**This takes place while Sam is on her visit home. It is told from Ian's point of view.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **The Jacket Heist**

Ever since Sam got her leather jacket, Lily had been in love with it. She tried multiple times to buy one just like it but it's been sold out and they never brought it back. That girl has searched high and low to find a jacket that comes anywhere near Sam's jacket but she has struck out every time.

That's why when Lily came to me with this… quest… I wasn't at all surprised.

Just before Sam showed up for her two week visit, Lily came to me asking me to help steal Sam's leather jacket. It took some convincing but when she black mailed me with no longer doing my laundry, I had to give in.

"Ian, please?" said Lily pulling on my shirt sleeve.

"Lily, no. She will kill me. She will kill both of us." I said.

"I can totally kick her ass." was her reply.

Then she pulled out The Pout. You know, the sad eyes and the pout that makes your knees go weak and you can't help but give in. Yeah she pulled that on me. Of course I couldn't help but give in to her every plea.

"If you don't help me, I won't do your laundry." She said.

Blackmail and a pout. That's all it took. That and I kind of owed her for the past month or so.

I didn't know who I was more afraid of. Lily's wrath or my sisters.

Attempt One. Sam had only been here for a few days but Lily was plotting the whole time. I was at home and I got a call form Lily.

"Ian, Sam went out for a walk. I'm gonna steal it now." said Lily whispering through the phone.

"Okay, so walk me through the plan." I really wanted to stall her but it didn't really work.

"I figured I'd just stick it in my closet and hope she doesn't go in there." Was her reply.

I knew this was far too simple of a plan and I turned out to be right. The next time I saw Sam, she had her leather jacket.

I looked at the jacket tilted my head and pointed attempting to ask how it went. Lily just flipped me off. I had to hold in my laughter.

Attempt Two. I was hanging out with Sam and Lily. Sam said something about laying down in the other room so Lily and I just sat and watched T.V for a while.

Lily got up to get a drink and when she came back there was mischief in her eyes.

"Ian, she's asleep. Come on, let's go get the jacket." said Lily taking me by the hand and pulling me off the couch towards the bedroom.

If only this were under different circumstances. Wait, no. Bad brain. No thinking bad thoughts.

"Okay so I'm going to sneak in and grab the jacket, then I'm going to put it in the trunk of my car." said Lily pulling me out of my head which I so did not want to be right now.

"Lily, you're going to wake her up." I said in a last minute attempt to talk her out of this crazy plan.

"If you don't shut up, you're the one that's going to wake her up. Now come on." She said motioning to me.

I let her go in ahead of me so I was standing in the doorway when she was in the middle of the room. If Sam did wake up, I didn't want her to see me because then she would ask what we were both doing. I have a feeling the Sam may be on to what's been going on in my head recently. By recently I mean just a minute ago.

Also I was kind of frozen in the door way because something caught my eyes. "Lily has a really nice butt" ran through my head before I could stop it. Wait. What? No, bad brain. Lily is friend. Lily is like sister. Since when do I talk like a caveman? Okay, no more looking at little sister's best friend's butt.

Lily got just over halfway into the room when it happened.

"Lily, what are you doing?" said a very sleepy sounding Sammie.

"I just came in to grab something. I was trying to be quiet and not wake you but I guess I screwed that up. I'll just leave so you can go back to sleep." said Lily grabbing the first thing she saw and walking back out.

I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Lily's face when she came out of the room with no jacket.

"Shut up." She said as she walked past me.

"I didn't say anything." I said with a laugh.

"Yet." She said under her breath.

Clearly I wasn't supposed to hear it but I did.

I just laughed while she went to sulk on the couch.

Attempt Three. The third and last try and probably the most epic of them all.

It all started on the Friday that Sam booked her flight. Lily let me in on her plan with Sam's roommate, Phil, to get Sam and Dan, her other roommate and the guy she has a huge crush on, together. She said I didn't really have to help much with that part nor did I ever want to. I still feel like Sam is sixteen and too young to date or something.

Really all I had to do was help Lily keep Sam from contacting Dan and stealing the jacket of course. Turns out the first part was the hard part.

We had to hide wires multiple times. When Sam remembered that computers and internet was a thing, we unplugged the internet and hid her computer charger.

With all forms of contact with her friends in London cut off, Sam was kind of a mess. A pacing mess. I felt really bad but I was already in too deep.

Sam was pacing around the kitchen when I realized how perfect of a time it was to steal the jacket.

"Hey Sammie, I'll be right back. Bathroom" I said but she clearly ignored me.

I made my way to Lily's room and told her that if she was going to steal the jacket, this was her best chance.

She grabbed it off the bed where it had been discarded earlier by Sam.

"Where should I put it?" Lily whispered to me jacket in hand.

"Put it with the computer charger." I suggested.

"No, it won't fit and it's too obvious." said Lily shooting down my idea.

"Under the bathroom sink?" I suggested.

"No, what if the toilet paper runs out. She would have to go under there to replace it or something." said Lily once again shooting down my idea.

She spun around looking for a place to put it when my eyes fell on her chest of drawers.

"Okay um… your underwear drawer. Hide it in your underwear drawer. She would never look there." I said in a stroke of brilliance if I do say so myself.

"My underwear drawer? Are you just trying to get a peek at my underwear Ian?" said Lily with a smirk.

"Well technically it would only be fair seeing as you have seen my multiple times but that's not why I mentioned it." I said with a mirroring smirk.

"Yeah. Okay, whatever." said Lily before shoving the jacket in what I assume was her underwear drawer.

For the rest of Sam's stay, I was in a constant state of worry that Sam would find he jacket and then kill us or ream us a new one or something. Then I would be left with a sulking Lily and I think I would much rather be killed.

On the other hand I kind of hope she did find it so that I wouldn't have to make up for it later. I love my sister, but that girl can hold a grudge.

Like when I was twelve, I accidentally kicked her when I was on our old swing set. She was walking in front of me and I didn't see her in time to stop. I felt so bad but every time we argue now she brings it up to make me feel bad.

Sam of course didn't find the jacket but in her birthday present I told her that Lily was making me help her and that I was really sorry. Let's just hope that she forgives me for this.

After Lily and I dropped Sam off at the airport we went to Lily's house and ordered pizza. For Lily this was a celebration of successfully stealing Sam's leather jacket and Lily's happiness is infectious. Even if I was kind of scared what my sister may do to us the next time she's here.

I started to day dream again and my eyes were caught by Lily's lips. They looked so soft and I just wanted to know what they would feel like against mine and-

"Ian? Ian! Hello earth to Ian. Did you hear what I just said?" said Lily thankfully pulling me out of my daydream.

Who knows what could have happened if she didn't. I shudder to think that I might have actually kissed her.

"No sorry, I was zoning out." I said.

"Well I was just saying thank you for all of your help. I really appreciate it. I couldn't have done it without you." She said with a smile that made my stomach do flips.

"Yeah well I kind of had no choice. I like having someone to do my laundry." I said smirking.

I think you should start paying me for all of the housekeeping I do for you or something." She replied.

"Yeah, no. You'll just have to collect at a later date. I'll do some sort of favor to make up for all of it." I told her and then took a sip of my drink.

"I deserve more than just one favor. Three at least."

We argued for a while but it ended when I said something that made soda come out of Lily's nose. All was forgotten after that.

For the first time I spent the night on Lily's couch instead of her on mine. Lily's apartment felt like a second home to me and it was kind of weird because I haven't really been here all that much.

As I laid on the couch staring up at the ceiling, I couldn't help but think about how I would have much rather be in her bed with her instead of out on the couch.

Goddamned brain making me think… things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Merry Christmas. This takes place the Christmas before Sam moves in with the guys. Let me know what you think by leaving a review.**

 **Enjoy and thanks for reading.**

The Christmas Tree

I was at Dan and Phil's flat a week before Christmas. They had just finished decorating the flat with fairy lights and tinsel. It looked nerdy and Christmas-y all at once. It honestly was pretty cool.

Being in their flat with it all decked out in Christmas decorations made me realize how sad and ordinary my flat must look. I hadn't gotten around to decorating yet because I had been working a lot the past couple of weeks. Now felt like the time to finally get to decorating or at least putting up my Christmas tree.

"Hey Phil," I said tuning to Phil who was sitting next to me on the sofa. "You guys need to help me decorate my flat."

"Sure, we'll do it tomorrow or something." said Phil.

"No, I need to do it now. I can't have a cheerless flat this close to Christmas. I need to do now." I said slightly melodramatically.

"Okay, I'll go and get Dan." He said giving in to me.

I think he only said yes to keep me from turning into the full on drama queen I can turn into sometimes.

Phil got up off the couch and I followed him into Dan's room where he was surprise, surprise, scrolling Tumblr.

"Can't we just do it tomorrow?" Dan asked just as Phil had suggested.

"No, I need my flat to be Christmas-y before Christmas. I NEED to do it now." I said trying to convince him.

"Fine, let's go over to your flat." said Dan sounding defeated.

I knew if I pulled out the puppy eyes I could get him to agree. It always did. Everyone falls victim to the puppy eyes.

The three of us made the short walk to my flat. Once there the guys made themselves at home while I hunted down my pathetic little tree and box of decorations. I maybe had ten decorations for the tree and that was it.

I finally found them tucked away in the top of my closet in my bedroom. Arms full of boxes, it was really just two, LET ME EXAGERATE, I made my way to the lounge.

Phil went and started my kettle so he could make hot chocolate while Dan helped me with the tree. Of course I knew he was really raiding all of my snacks but I didn't care as long as I got hot chocolate out of the deal.

The tree was a small three foot tree that you just had to slide little plastic things into the bottom and then pull the branches down. It was just a cheap on that I got from Walmart my first year of college and it's held up pretty well considering all the abuse I've put it through. You know a year of college, flying to a new country, a dorm room and two apartments so far. It's held up until now.

It seemed like every time I tried to make it look decent, something would fall off of it. There were tons of fake pine needles all over my floor but when an entire branch fell out there was just no making this thing look even halfway decent.

"Sam," said Dan through a laugh. "I think you need to buy a new tree."

"NO! This is my first Christmas tree. I can't just get rid of him. I love him." I said on the verge of tears while hugging the tree.

I give a new meaning to the term tree hugger.

"Sam, it's time to let go. It's clearly dead." He said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I didn't even understand why I was so attached to this tree. Sure I've had it for a long time but it carries memories of my ex-boyfriend, Adam. I didn't want to keep those memories, did I? But at the same time it held so many good memories with Lily, Dan and Phil, and some of the other friends I've made since moving to London. Those were the memories I wanted to hold on to.

"Okay." I said quietly.

"How about we go to the shop and buy you a new tree and some decorations. Lights and stuff. This new Christmas tree will be better than any tree you've ever had." He said.

I could tell he was trying to make me feel better but for some reason I was just really sad to be getting rid of my tree. I mean it was my first tree that I bought. It signified my first step of freedom. My first step to adulthood. It was the first adult thing I really ever bought but Dan was right, it was time to let go.

Dan went and told Phil the plan while I went and got my wallet and we were soon on our way to town to buy a new tree. We ended up having to take the subway because the stores that were nearby were out of Christmas tree.

Upon entering the store, I went straight to the tree section. I was very tempted to buy one of the fresh cut Christmas trees we saw on our way in but I'm way too lazy to take care of it and actually clean up after it. I want to adult but I don't want to adult that hard.

All of the small trees looked even worse than the one I had at home after the branches started falling off. One did catch my eye though. It was much bigger but it was the best looking tree and it would just fit in the lounge.

"I want that one." I said turning to Dan.

Phil had gone off to look at decorations and by decorations I knew me meant the sweets isle. It was just me and Dan. Oh yup, there are the butterflies.

"You can't have that tree." said Dan.

"My money. My house. My tree. Why can't I have the one I want?" I said slightly hysterically.

"You don't need a seven foot tree." He said trying to reason with me.

"It's six and a half feet and I want it." I argued.

"And how do you propose we bring it home seeing as you no longer have a car?" Dan argued back.

For a second I pictured us trying to bring a six foot tree on the underground. Not a good idea. I wish I had waited a few more months before selling my car but living in London, I didn't really need it. I never really left and when I did it was just to go to Brighton.

"Duh, I can just call a taxi or something." I said.

"Fine." said Dan.

There really was no arguing after this point so once again, Dan just gave in.

I went off to find someone to help with the tree and then we went to find Phil. Just as I had figured, we found him in the candy isle drooling over some kind of candy.

We had to drag Phil away from the sweets then we went back and looked at all of the decorations. Dan and I were both drawn to the same decorations. It was a pack of monochromatic baubles. I fell in love. This is when I decided that the theme of my tree would be black and white with splashed of gray and silver. Monochromatic.

Of course there were other a few other baubles and ornaments that fit the black and white theme of my tree. There was the black sparkly star for the top of the tree, a white present ornament, and then the black snow flake and a few others.

The only one that didn't fit the theme was a blue sparkly snowflake Phil pointed out when I was looking at the black one. I picked it up but then I couldn't put it down. After wondering around the shop with it clutched in my hand for twenty minutes, I finally put it in my basket.

Dan managed to find some plain white lights. Those fucker were hard to find. There seemed to only be the multicolored ones. I luckily found some black and silver garland while scanning for the bloody lights.

We went and payed for everything. I managed to do some serious damage to my bank account but I got what I needed, and then some. Both of the guys decided that they would go with me in the taxi. I was thankful for that because I always feel really awkward in taxis when it's just me and the driver.

We somehow managed to fit the tree in the trunk and close it. The only problem was that the three of us were going to have to hold the bags with the decorations in our laps. This wouldn't be as bad if the guys weren't abnormally tall. What really didn't help was that I was also quite tall. Somehow we managed to all fit in with very little room left.

My entire side, from knee to shoulder, was right up against Dan. Well Phil was on the other side but Dan was the reason the butterflies were once again wreaking havoc on my digestive system. That sounded kind of gross but it was just a fact. I tried my best to not think about just how close he was.

Once back to my flat. We dumped everything on the couch and Dan and I volunteered Phil to order takeaway while he and I raced to see who could get to the bathroom first. He won. That boy can actually run when he needs. Of course he was probably coughing up a lung right now but he was faster than me. I totally think he cheated. When he came out he made sure to laugh at my I-gotta-pee dance.

Once all business was taken care of, we started to get ready to start decorating my flat. First on the list was the disposal of my broken tree. I couldn't bear to do it so Dan did it for me. When he came back it was time to put up the new tree.

How many socially awkward nerds does it take to put up a Christmas tree? A Phil to turn on some anime then zone out while watching it. A Dan to continually drop thing and have a heart attack every time because he thinks he broke it when he didn't. Finally we need a Sam to do everything else while laughing at the Dan.

Once the tree was finally up, it was time to decorate. I somehow managed to get myself tangled in the tree lights. Dan did nothing but laugh at me and take pictures of my pain. This just happened to be the exact time the doorbell rang. The takeaway was here and I made Phil go and get it while Dan finally started helping me get untangled.

When Phil came back with the food, he told us about his awkward weird incident with the takeaway delivery guy. Something about accidental hand touching and instead of saying sorry he said thank you. I knew today there was going to be some sort of weird thing that happened to Phil. Honestly I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

We put a pause on the tree decorating to stuff our faces with pizza. I managed to somehow pull all of the cheese and toppings off of the pizza causing molten tomato sauce to burn a hole in my face. Both Dan and Phil found my severe pain to be hilarious. I flipped them off while holding my face under the water of my kitchen tap. This caused them to laugh harder. Dan was laughing so hard that his head was laying on the table. I flipped him off again.

After I got over my anger at the pizza for trying to melt my face off, I finished eating it because that was the best revenge I could think of for what it had done to me. HAHAHA revenge is sweet, or in this case cheesy.

The three of us had to fight off a food coma to finish decorating. The rest of the decorating was festive and boring. Nothing funny happened just me and Dan putting baubles on the tree while Phil threaded the string through the ones that didn't already have it.

Tomorrow was our Christmas together because Phil was leaving the day after tomorrow and Dan was leaving the next day. So once we were finished with decorating, the guys went back to their flat to grab presents and stuff for tomorrow. They were going to come back and just stay the night so we could have a movie night. I took this as an opportunity to wrap their Christmas presents.

For Phil I got a t-shirt with a huge stack of pancakes and syrup dripping down the side printed on it. They looked so realistic that I almost wanted to take a bite of it but that would just result in teeth hurting cringe instead of yummy syrupy pancakes.

For Dan, his gift was much harder to come up with. I had been searching for this gift for months and when I say months I mean since April. I put his big gift, the only one I was actually counting as a gift, in an envelope at the bottom of a box. This was the thing I had planned to give him from the start. I then put, the thing that took me forever to find, a Yeezus t-shirt on top. I figured the shirt would be a little clue as to what the big gift was.

His Yeezus t-shirt was one of his favorites so I figured having an extra would be a good. It was the hardest thing to find and I knew Dan would appreciate the time I spent on that. Seeing as his gift was a really special one I decided I'd make him work for it.

I taped and wrapped that box then put it in another box. Then I put a black Game of Thrones t-shirt on top of the box then taped it shut and wrapped it again. I put it in the last box. There was one last shirt I got him and I figured it would probably be his favorite besides the Yeezus shirt. This one was a black, of course, t-shirt but this one had the Guild Wars 2 logo printed on it.

He had been obsessed with this game for as long as I can remember so it just seemed perfect. I thought it would go nicely with his shrine as well.

I had just finished wrapping the last box in black paper when I heard the guys coming in the flat. I grabbed the two gifts and went out into the lounge where I found the guys.

The three of us put our gifts under the tree then we started preparation for our movie marathon. Dan and I moved my small sofa out of the way while Phil grabbed the duvet off my bed and the extra blankets I had in my closet. Dan and I made a sort of big pillow for the three of us to lean up against out of the couch cushions and the pillows off my bed while Phil made the popcorn. When it was done we started in on the movie.

I would say that we all fell asleep before the movie ended but seeing as I was the first to fall asleep, I didn't really know for sure. Fifteen minutes in and I was out like a light. Some movie marathon that turned out to be.

 **Asdfghjkl**

In the morning I was awoken by the smell of something pancake-y. I opened my eyes to see Phil three feet away from me still asleep. I turned over to where Dan had been to find and empty sleeping area.

I looked over to the kitchen area. The small wall that was constructed to make it seem like the kitchen and lounge were separate rooms was blocking my view of the stove. I got up and made my way to the kitchen.

When I turned the corner I saw Dan in his pjs and coincidentally, his Yeezus shirt. I just have to say that this was probably the sexiest way I could ever see my best friend. I hate myself for thinking that. I hate myself for crushing on him like this. I shook my head to get the thoughts out.

I snuck up behind him and whispered boo. He jumped but thankfully didn't scream.

"Shhhhh-sugar. Jeez I actually thought about punching you until I saw that it was you." said Dan thankfully hugging me instead of punching me.

I laughed on the outside but on the inside my stomach was fluttering with butterflies that I tried my damnedest to ignore. Hugging is now banned. He can never hug me again. Oh who am I kidding, I can't not just never hug him again. Damn this stupid thing.

"Yeah whatever, just continue to cook so I can eat. I'm hungry, and I gotta pee." I said running off to the bathroom.

When I was done I made my way back to the kitchen where this time I found a now awake Phil.

"Oh finally!" said Phil rushing out past me into what I assumed was the bathroom.

Dan had set the table and put the pancakes and syrup on the table. I was actually quite surprised to see that Dan was cooking. Usually when he stays the night, he just raids my cereal cupboard or my fridge for food.

When Phil got back, the three of us sat at my very tiny table and stuffed out faces with pancake-y (crepes) yumminess as Phil explained them.

Dan and I were still eating while Phil was finished and bouncing up and down in his chair slightly. Dan and I, without saying anything to each other, both started eating slower. The expression on Phil's face was quite funny.

"So Phil," I said after taking my last bite. "I have a feeling that it's time for presents."

"Yes. Let's go." He said getting up from the table and heading into the lounge.

Dan cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher while I made my way out to the lounge. Phil and I picked up the lounge while waiting for Dan to be done in the kitchen.

Once we were all done tidying everything, the three of us sat around the tree. Phil was the first to hand out the gifts he got for Dan and me.

Phil got me a DVD of My Neighbor Totoro. I had told him that I had only seen it once and it was amazing. He also got me Howl's Moving Castle which was one of the one I told him I really wanted to see. For Dan, he got him a figurine of some anime that the two of them watched together.

Next Dan passed out his gifts. For Phil he got him a phone case with a Lion on it. It was actually really cool. Before he gave me his gift he handed me a black square of paper with a string attached to the corner. I turned it over to find the branch that fell off my fake tree. Dan had bent it into the shape of a heart and then glued it to the paper. I couldn't help but hug him. This meant more than anything he could have bought. I put it on the tree.

I opened the present and found the entire set of the U.K. version of Harry Potter. I almost cried It was the best thing I think I've ever gotten for Christmas, besides the U.S. version that I got for Christmas when I was younger.

Now it was my turn. I gave Phil his first. I had just stuck his in a bag. When he opened it his eyes grew wide and his face full of excitement and then his smile dropped a little.

"For a second I thought they were actual pancakes." said Phil pulling out the shirt and holding it up for Dan to see it.

He and I laughed at Phil while he hugged the shit to himself.

Next was Dan's turn to open his gift. I grabbed the black box from under the tree and handed it to him.

"Ah, I see you decided to wrap it in the color of my soul." Said Dan ripping the paper off.

Phil and I shared a look. He helped me with the big gift so he knew what I got him already.

Dan's face lit up when he saw the Guild Wars 2 shirt but his smile fell when he saw the box inside.

"I thought we agreed on one gift each." said Dan with an annoyed look on his face.

"Yeah but I started buying these before we agreed on that and technically they are all in on box so it only counts as one gift." I said with a smirk.

"They?" Dan questioned.

I was just sitting there with a smile on my face waiting for him to continue to open his gift.

He opened the second box. Once and again his face his face lit up at the sight of the shirt but was gone when he saw the box.

"Really?" he said.

"Just open it." Was my reply.

He pulled the last box out and opened it. He looked down at the shirt in the box then to the one he was currently wearing.

"Okay, hoe in the hell did you get this?" Dan asked in astonishment.

"I scoured eBay but your real gift is in underneath it." I said smirk still firmly planted on my face.

This was the first time he saw then envelope at the bottom of the box. Before opening it, Dan gave me an I-can't-believe-you look but then continued to pull two pieces of printed paper out. His jaw dropped open and my smirk turned into a grin. For a whole minute he just stared at me. I thought he was going to kiss me for a second. The look in his eyes made it seem like he wanted to but then he looked down at the gift in his hand.

"I can't believe you got me Kanye tickets. Front row even. I love you. You are the best friend ever." Said Dan pulling me into a hug.

After the excitement died down the guys needed to leave. Phil left tomorrow and he still hadn't packed. Dan had to film a video he had been thinking about for like a week now but putting it off until last minute.

I was so happy both of them like the gifts I got them. Especially Dan. It may have not actually been Christmas but this was a hundred times better.

This tree signified a new chapter of my life in a way. The one where Dan and Phil are the main people in my life now. While I miss the people back home, I knew for sure in this moment that I wasn't ever going back. My relationship with my mom was almost non-existent, my relationship with my Dad suffered because I was too scared to call in case my mom answered the phone. I didn't get to talk to Lily, my best friend, or Ian, my brother, as often as I wanted causing those relationships to suffer as well.

This tree signified the London chapter of my life and I was very excite to see what this chapter had in store for me.

 **Remember to leave a review telling me what you thought about this little story.**


End file.
